I'm Not Talking to Myself - My Characters are Talking

     How many of you have had that conversation lately? Neighbors, family and coworkers don't quite know what to think of us when we writers talk out our dialogues in a low (or not-so-low) voice with no one else around. I actually have a friend who had a security guard ask her manager if she was all right. Talk about busted!

     The truth of the matter is that (no matter how embarrassing it can be to have someone laugh at you for "talking to yourself") we writers have to talk out our dialogue. There's just no way around it.

     Why, a non-writer might ask? It makes perfect sense if you consider what goes into writing.

     When a writer sits down to a blank screen, there is an automatic "FREEZE!" moment. They suddenly can't think of a thing to write. So they think and plot and plan a little, then come back and sit down again. With first sentences, this is pretty easy. With dialogue, not so much. Why? Because narrative is easy to write. It's like writing in a journal, or blogging, or Twittering. It's basically typing out your thoughts. No editing is really needed as you go to make it sound natural (most of the time). Dialogue, on the other hand, isn't something you can always write naturally because all conversations with more than one person (you and yourself don't count) happen out loud, not inside our heads.

     This means that when you're writing dialogue, you can't just depend on what you hear inside your head. You have to hear it out loud to know whether or not it sounds right. You have to hear it to know if people would really say things like that. "The ear is the best writer" is the saying - and it is completely right when it comes to dialogue!

     Think of it this way:

     You love fudge; you've eaten lots of fudge; you've made lots of fudge. But you've never tried Lemon Bar Fudge. Now, you can read the recipe all you want. You can think about how delicious it's going to be. You can even pin pictures of it onto your favorite Pinterest board. But you will never know what it tastes like unless you actually put a bite into your mouth.

     The same is true of dialogue. You can read it. You can plan it. You can even write it down. But until you hear it spoken out loud, you will never know if it SOUNDS right.

     So for those of you who are hiding behind bedroom doors, cowering in the basement study, covering up your conversations with the noise of a hot shower, I would say this - rehearsing dialogue is nothing to be ashamed of. A little unusual for non-writers to see, but not at all unusual for a writer to do. The next time somebody gives you that look and asks, "Who are you talking to?" just give them a lecture on the subject of how to properly test dialogue. And I guarantee you, they may think you're crazy, but they won't ask about it again.

     Sincerely,

          Yours Truly